A Mommy Project

After being sucker punched last week I realized that the pieces of the puzzle didn't add up. Once I got over being sad that I was offered a job that was later retracted I began to think about why something like this would happen. I sent a follow up email with a few questions regarding the situation. They immediately contacted me to meet with the head of the department. I guess you could say I'm a glutton for punishment. Why would I go back to a company that made such a bad first impression? Honestly, I didn't want to, but this was my thought, I can go and possibly get the job, which I need, or I don't get it, in which case I have nothing to lose being that I never had the job to begin with. My friends had been telling me that this job wasn't meant to be and that God had something better for me, so I had that in the back of my mind. On the way to the interview I asked God to show me if this was His will or not. I arrived at the company confident that I was going ...

It has been awhile since I last wrote and believe me there has been a lot going on, but because of all that I haven't had the desire to write. But today, something happened that I need to write about. My day's of being a stay at home mom have to come to an end, at least for a short while. So for the last 4-5 months I've been looking for a job. I've applied at your basic part time job locations like stores, banks, and theme parks. Just something that I can get to help pay off debt. I recently began applying for full time office positions, but nothing came of that either. I began to contact my "connections", really just family and friends that might be able to help. So, my sister in law sent my resume to her human resources manager and I got a call. I met for a first interview for a position in administrative support for sales and it went well. While waiting for an answer on that position, I got another call for a different position, reservation agent. A...

I have been a stay at home mom/house wife for the past 7 years. during this time I haven't felt the need or worry to compete with anyone. Most of my friends are also stay home moms, our roles in life a pretty much the same, we care for our children, husbands, and home. Our commonality actually bonds us together, pushing competition away. So, why am I know finding myself competing now? I'm not competing with my friends, I'm in competition with those I don't know, the "others." I think our roles as moms have lead us to believe that the way we look doesn't matter. I'm a stay at home mom for crying out loud, my job requires me to look "comfortable." I don't have to impress anyone! It recently hit me, I do need to impress someone... my husband. This whole time I'm thinking my husband loves me, he doesn't care if I look don't look my best. Reality is, no he does care how I look. And who are the "others?" The other wom...

It's been a while since I last wrote any blog entries. November has been a really trying month for me, a lot had been going on and writing was the last thing that I though off. Tonight however, as I laid in bed, my thoughts came rushing all at once. I seem to do my best thinking at night when all is calm. Looking back at the things that I have gone through I realise that I could have only gotten through it with God's help. I'm not trying to get all religious here, but the truth is that only through God that I had the strength to go day after day without falling apart. There were many nights where I laid in bed crying asking God when was this all going to end, but then I would find myself asking Him for peace and I was able to sleep and get rest. A pastor once told me that I shouldn't seek God to solve my problems but that I should allow my problems to bring me closer to Him. I realized that I was seeking God to solve my problems so that everything could be okay a...

I t's those little surprises in life that take us for a tailspin. Two weeks ago I found out that we are expecting baby number three. I am unexpectedly expecting. It was a shock, I won't lie. I thought I was done having kids. I was mentally getting ready to go back to work. My oldest is in school and my youngest is starting Kinder this coming year. Now in 8 months I am going back to diaper duty and sleepless nights, I am so not looking forward to that again. I hadn't been feeling to well since the beginning of October and though pregnancy symptoms kept creeping up I didn't think that's what it was, we weren't trying, so I was sure it had to be something else. I thought I was sick, like really sick. Then I decided to take a pregnancy test to rule that out before I proceeded to make a call to the doctor about my illness. Well no call was needed, the stick said PREGNANT, in all caps just like that. I know that a child is a blessing and he or she is coming into o...

My status this morning on facebook reads, "is really missing being in Louisville, KY." Normally, since we arrived in Orlando, Monday's have been very busy for me. This morning, not so much. I woke up feeling down and really wishing we could be back in Louisville. I really miss Fall, I want to see the tree in front of my house turning yellow and my neighbor's trees turning red. I want to feel the cool crisp air of Fall. I want to go to the farm and go pumpkin picking with my kids. My husband says I don't like change, and he's right, especially change I don't want, but when it comes to the weather, change is good. The change of season is refreshing. It's like a new beginning every 4 months. As September ends a change takes place as Fall arrives. The atmosphere changes, you feel a sense of relaxation. The hot days of summer are over, the school year is underway and the holiday season is soon upon us. The first time I ever experienced the change...

I've sat many morning on my computer writing my blogs and thinking, "I wish I was a writer." A few days ago I was reading a family member's blog and I thought wow Nina is a really good writer. She just recently created a new website and under her description she has actress and writer. I thought to myself wait a minute Nina is right, she is a writer, she has her blog and so do I, so that makes me a writer too. During my college years I wrote for my college newspaper, which was a publication, created press releases and freelanced a couple of articles for leisure magazines in Orlando. One of the reasons I began this blog was because my pastor back in Louisville suggested that if I wanted to write I should publish my work through a blog. And that is how this writing project began. I struggle, though, with the feeling of how our identities and the way people perceive us are shaped by what we do in life. I love to write and hope to one day do it for a living, but right ...

I began an new fitness routine yesterday. I've noticed that since I moved back to Florida, this summer, I have gained 2 pounds. I know that's not a lot, but I'm afraid that 2 will turn to 5 and 5 will turn to 10 and I don't my weight to get out of hand. I didn't want to go below my weight goal of 140lbs, but I have to do something to tone my body. The first place excess fat goes to is my abdominal area and then it proceeds to move elsewhere. So, this time I'm going to nip it in the bud. I lost 33 pounds with Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video, let me state that I didn't do it in 30 days, it took me more like 6 months. One of the big factors of seeing rapid weight lose was cutting down my carbohydrate consumption. So with a good healthy diet, which I didn't see as a diet it was more of a change, and 5 days of exercise, I lost the weight. This time I'm trying out Jillian's Yoga video. After my first workout, yesterday, I was feeling pu...

We've been in Orlando for just over 2 months and I have to say it's not too bad as I thought it would be to come back to Florida. I still, though, really miss Louisville. I miss my friends, my church, and my life there. I have been thinking about why what wasn't broken had to be fixed. Really, everything was fine, well everything except my husband's career. I'm struggling a little with the changes that are taking place in our lives down here. For example, I think I am the only parent who is not looking forward to school starting. Why? For many reasons, first there's the whole thing of having to get up early, wait make that very early. Then there's the fact that the academy that my son will be attending is half an hour away and I'm not excited about the daily commute. There's the financial factor too, it's really expensive! Oh and did I mention gas? One of the bad things of Orlando is that it's so big and spread out you have to trav...

I felt somewhat nostalgic today as I watched NASA's space program launch the Atlantis shuttle into space for its final mission. It's hard to believe that I am old enough to use the phrase, "it's been 30 years since..." Today, I am living back in Florida and one cool thing about living here is being able to watch the shuttles fly into space right from your own backyard. I've seen the shuttles launch while at work, 400 ft. up in the sky aboard the Sea World Skytower, what a view that was. I also saw one of them come home piggy back on a 747. I've been awaken by many sonic booms rattling my house. One of the first ones I experience abruptly woke me up in panic thinking it was an earthquake. We had recently moved from California and when your house rattles and the ground rumbles it's most likely an earthquake. One of the big things in Central Florida is the Kennedy Space Center, the location of the shuttle launch pad. There you can see space history un...

Challenge Day: 60 Today was a long day, a very long day. My plans, as usual, were quite different that what actually happened. We were staying with our friends, since our house was empty, and we were going to get up and have breakfast, hang out, and say our goodbyes. Then we were going back to the house, pick up our belongings and close the door one last time. That afternoon we were to be on our way down to Nashville to a friends birthday party and then on to Chattanooga to my aunts. This is what actually happened. My husband I got up at 9am, got breakfast on the way, headed home to clean and patch up anything that was visible. What we thought was going to take us 2-3 hours turned into an all day project. On top of everything, my boys who were at my friends house got sick, well one of them did. I got a call from my friend saying that my oldest had a fever, then not too long after, she called again saying he now had pink eye. So, what I thought was going to be a somber day for me t...

Challenge Day: 59 Today I drove my son to school for the last time. No more waking up at 7am, at least for the summer. He completed his first year of school. It's unbelievable that just over 9 months ago I took him to his first day of school and now the year is over. Tonight at his graduation he was so proud and excited about his accomplishment and achievements. It was also an emotional night for me, well actually for both my husband and I, because our little boy didn't just graduate, it was also his last time at Louisville Adventist Academy. Today was the last day that he would see his friends and teachers. I am so grateful and blessed that he was able to attend LAA. As the time approached for him to begin school, I struggled with the decision of where to send him. I wanted him to be person and not just a number in a classroom. It's funny how what at one time was not an option turned out to be the right fit. We made the decision to place my son in a private school a...

Challenge Day: 58 I meant to write this post last Thursday, but Blogger was down and then I got busy with the daily grind after that. Last week learned a harsh reality, no matter how you pick up from past mistakes and though you are forgiven and the sin is forgotten, the consequences of those mistakes linger throughout the years. It's part of human nature, you do something you aren't supposed and those actions have consequences. As much as I wish that my past would stay in the past and be forgotten, it finds a way to creep up and find me. We shouldn't let the past get us down or ruin who we are now. Though the effects of our past my stay with us throughout our life, it shouldn't define us. Yes, we have pasts and with that comes things we wish didn't, but I think we can overcome them. The one thing I can take from this is to teach my children why it's important to live a good and Godly lives and hope that they don't make the same mistakes. Yes they wil...

Challenge Day: 57 When I was looking for the definition of the word mother the majority of the ones I found described a mother as one who gives birth to a child. But I know that just giving birth to a child doesn't make you a mother. There are women who didn't give birth to their children and they are as much mothers as those with biological children. The definition that I thought best exemplified what it means to be a mom was; t o watch over, nourish, and protect maternally. I read many of my friends comments on facebook today, but one particular comment stood out the most. This friend said that it was a blessing that God had chosen her to be a mom. I never looked at it that way, I always thought my kids were the blessing. But really it is a blessing that God chose me and gave me the job and responsibility for these little gifts. I get to celebrate this day because of the two gifts that God has given me. My kids have changed my life for the better and I could not imagi...

Challenge Day: 56 I woke up today with desire to write. So far I have finally caught up with some of the post I had started and didn't finish. Lately I've been really inspired by the things I read and hear. I love to write, it allows me to express myself and gives me peace. It's an escape for me. I began to wonder, though, can anyone write? Am I a write or do I have an ability that everyone has? Or can I really do something different? It comes pretty easy for me, and it's fun. I have a dream to one day be able to write a book. The hardest thing for me is figuring out what I want to write about. I don't just want to write a book, I want to write a book that inspires and touches peoples lives, much like the ones I've been reading lately. I have recently realized that reading is knowledge, it's is such an enlightenment for the soul. There is never enough knowledge on any subject that one can have. I've never been much of a reader, but now it's l...

Challenge Day: 55 Three weeks from today we will finally set sail to Orlando, Florida. Not really set sail, as we are going by car, but you know what I mean. I can't believe that on the 15th it will be 6 months exactly that my husband went to Orlando. I never thought that we were going to still be here 6 months later. The good thing is that my son is finishing his school year here. Our home is still on the market, sigh, and still no one is interested. They just don't like our house and all the complaints are of things that we cannot change. This Friday, after reading yet again, more negative feedback, I decided that I am not going to harp or stress about this house anymore. I actually was a little excited about moving, this past week we decided to have all our personal belongings packed and moved to Orlando when we leave. I would like to leave for Florida with at least an offer, but I'm leaving our house in God's hands. He knows what we need and knows the plans H...

Challenge Day: 54 Easter, what does this day mean to you? While most people are giving and receiving baskets filled with candy from the Easter bunny, that isn't why we celebrate this holiday. It's not about the candy, or the bunny, it's about the Son of God who came to our sinful world, became flesh, suffered, and died for our sins, so that through His death we would have life. Have you ever sat back and thought about it on a personal level? Whether you are religious or not, whether you believe in Him or not, the reality is that He died for you and me! Jesus endured the most painful experience a person can endure and just because he was the Son of God didn't make the pain any less. He died for those that condemned Him and crucified Him, because He loved them all. I have recently begun to really understand the sacrifice, pain, rejection and humiliation he endured for us. He was beat, abused, spit on, criticized, humiliated, all for me. What does Jesus death mean for...

Challenge Day: 53 I travel the same 5 mile stretch of freeway every day of the week to take and pick up my son from school. I realized today that in order to make in the driving world you have to be the fastest or be a bully. What happened to being courteous and giving people the right away when they need to merge because they are running out of road? For crying out loud, the freeway has 5 lanes do you really have to drive on the right lane when there is an on ramp and cars need to merge? I have two major driving pet peeves, first is slow drivers, we all know just how frustrating they are. Second, is when I have put my turn signal in advance to let the cars behind me know that I need to change lanes and they blatantly don't move over or speed up but not enough to give me any room. It is then when I wish that real driving was like NASCAR and I could clip someones car and spin them out, but not to hurt them, just to make the point that they were rude. I let people get in and out...

Challenge Day: 52 It was a beautiful sunny day and I thought it would be a nice to take the boys to park to ride their bikes. The park was full of people enjoying a walk, a picnic, or simply being out after a long Winter. Towards the end of the bike ride my oldest, who is 6, decide that it would be funny to start yelling, "Help I'm being kidnapped!" At that exact moment I was holding on to his bike because he was having trouble peddling, so it looked like I was trying to take him. Some of the people around began to stare at me. I had to tell him to stop saying that and that it wasn't funny. I continued to playfully talk to the kids and encourage them on their bike riding until we got to the car. Needless to say, I had a long talk with him on the way home about making false statements. It turned out he really didn't know what he was saying and that he had learned it from a movie. He now knows what it means and when to truly say it. In Stormie Omartian's bo...

Challenge Day: 51 It's a rainy Monday and my son is off from school today because of parent-teacher conferences, so it's nice. Over all I had a good weekend, great church service and sermon, spent time with friends, and hanging out with my boys. It was much warmer than it should be for this time of year, but it's beautiful outside. The grass is green, the trees are budding, and the array of flowers that have bloomed in my neighborhood are stunning. Although my favorite season is Fall, I am going to miss the change that Spring brings. One day everything is gray and bare and the next all of creation is glowing with colorful beauty. I've learned to appreciate God's beauty more here in Louisville with the change of seasons. I was listening to K-Love today, the DJ was talking about the headlines in the news, from news stations to newspapers to magazine and online, the headlines are of bad things going on all around all over the world. He said that though the world...

Challenge Day: 50 I'm struggling today with thoughts of why? Why is this happening? Why are we going through this? Why are we going there? Why can't things stay as they are? Why am I so worried about what the future holds for us? I know God is in control of everything, but I think I fear not following His plan for my life because I may not see it. I'm not asking why because I don't trust or doubt God's plan for my life, it's more a question of what do You have in store for us, show me what you want for us because I may not see it. I have to be honest in that I find it hard to know when God is talking to me, but it's just then when He shows me. Even though I hear Him talk to me through books, radio, or flat out answered prayers, I still find it hard to know what He is telling me about myself and my life. Really it's because, as much as I wish He were, He isn't physically here to talk to me. But He is here and he talks to me, He talks to all of u...

Challenge Day: 49 Have you ever heard the expression, being down in the dumps? Well today that someone is me. I know the week is just beginning but I'm feeling really down. On days like these I sit back and think about the carefree life of a child. Why did I every want to be all grown up when I was a kid? Just last week I found myself telling my 6 year old not to rush wanting to grow up and enjoy being a child. Oh my, I sounded just like my father. I remembered his words like it was yesterday. I would tell him how I wanted to be an adult so I could do whatever I wanted. His reply was always the same, "enjoy being a child and do not rush to grow up, your childhood is a great time and you can't ever get those years back." He wished he could go back to being a kid, when life was fun and carefree. Boy was he right! Today, I'm wishing I could go back to my childhood. I couldn't wait for the day that I would turn 21 because then I was totally legal, in society...

Challenge Day: 39 I just finished reading chapter 13 of The Power of the Praying Parent , it talked about having the desire to live a healthy. Today's chapter in this book is about nourishing your body and spirit. The authors recalls a time when she went to visit her daughter and son in law in Morocco. While visiting she learned one of their customs which they referred to as "afternoon visits". At around 4 pm neighbors would go out and visit other neighbors without any advance notice or planning. No one complained about it or found it inconvenient. Upon returning to the United States she missed attending afternoon visits and wished that we had customs like that here in the US. As time passed she forgot about it until one day on her birthday she received a call from a friend who was inviting her over for an unexpected birthday lunch. That day she was nourished by her friends meal, friendship, and kind gesture. As I read the chapter I thought about how important bein...

Challenge Day: 36 Music is something that can be used for both good and evil. I can tell you first hand about the influences of music in my life. I have been around music most of my life. I began playing instruments at a young age and have been involved in bands and choirs thought the years. There have been a few times in my life when I have found myself wrapped up in secular music and noticed the negative influence it had. Most recently, I found that I needed to clean my iPod out because a lot of what I had on there was music that didn't glorify God and my boys were learning it. They have such great memory, they can memorise anything very quickly. It was when I heard my boys singing secular music and not knowing what they were saying, that it hit me, I had to turn on the Christian station and have them fill their little brains with uplifting inspiring music that glorified God. This year the words of the music I hear on the Christian station have been so comforting to me and ...

Challenge Day: 34 The author tells of when her father was in his last hours of life. As she stood there watching her father dying, she wanted to be there but at the same she didn't. Then she thought of Philippians 3:14 and realized that though it was very sad to see her father dying, he was finishing his race here on earth. When she was told that her father was gone she said, " He made it! I wanted to shout Hallelujah!, he has crossed the finish line, and now he was in full possession of the prize for which had run so long and hard. Though I miss my father very much, I have great peace knowing that he is safe and at rest in the Lord he loved and served all his life. Praise the God that turns mourning into joy!" I'm not going to write much on this chapter because I have never had to go through that experience. The closest that I come to the loss of a loved one was the death of my mother in law. She passed away in 2009, at young age, from cancer. I can't imagin...

Challenge Day: 33 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34 To reflect on God's goodness I think you have to be able to see the good things around you, the blessings He bestows. If we are always focusing on the negative aspect of life or the tough times that come, we will miss the blessings. God doesn't want us to suffer, suffering is part of sin, and we will go through pain. But if you seek God, you will be able to reflect on His goodness. I have to admit that though I am a born and raised Christian, I never really had a relationship with God until this year. These past few months have been very stressful and it's through this time that I have seen first hand the love of God and His goodness. How, do you ask? I have made a decision to make time for Him everyday and ask Him to take my life in His hands. First example, I didn't want to be yelling a my kids or raising my voice at them just because I was stressed, irritate...